As an added resource for the Chapter on Gossip and Slander I have psoted the following message and notes for your use…. like the three gators above some times we get together and talked ….and leave scars…
The following is from a message by Paul Tripp
Desiring God 2008 National Conference
(These are notes taken during the session, not a manuscript.)
There are three things I know about you:
- You talk. Every day of our lives and every relationship is filled with talk. Words are God’s idea, and they belong to him. So when you hear the word “talk” you ought to hear something that is high and holy and important. Let us never regard talk as something that doesn’t matter.
- Both the saddest and the most celebratory moments of your life have been accompanied by talk.
- Your world of talk is a world of trouble.
This last point is defeating, but the redeeming love of God is extremely zealous. And because of that we can have the courage to look at this difficult area.
What is the trouble of our talk?
For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, 44 for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. 45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:43-45)
Christ teaches us in this passage that we live out of our hearts. What does the Bible mean by the word “heart”? It means the causal core of your personhood. It is your directional system, your steering wheel. Your behavior isn’t caused by the situations and relationships outside of you. It’s caused by the way your heart reacts to those things.
Word problems aren’t vocabulary or technique problems. They are heart problems. Christ uses the example of the tree. Apple trees are apple-istic all the way down, a principle of organic consistency. We want to think that our problem is outside of us rather than inside of us. But that is a very dangerous heresy, because when you can convince yourself of that, you quit being a seeker after the transforming grace of Jesus Christ. You must come to admit that you are your greatest communication problem.
Much of what we do in our attempts to change communication is nothing less than trying to nail apples onto a fruitless tree. You may get it to look authentic and good for a little while, but those apples will soon rot and the tree will be fruitless again next year.
It’s only when you stand before your Redeemer and are humbly willing to say, regardless of the flawed people you live among, “I am my greatest communication problem,” you are heading in a direction of fundamental change.
What is the war for the heart?
It is most briefly summarized in a little phrase in 2 Corinthians 5:15: “[Jesus] died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” Sin is fundamentally antisocial. It makes myself the primary focus. It is all about “I want, I want, I want, I want, I want.” Apart from Christ we are vats of desire and entitlement. Notice Paul’s warning in Galatians:
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. (Galatians 5:13-15)
We must never say that harsh, proud, unloving, ungracious communication is ever OK. It’s not OK. God has invested words with power and Paul says that people can be destroyed by what you say. Sin dehumanizes the people in our lives. It makes them either into vehicles that help me get what I want or obstacles that get in the way of what I want. If they help me get what I want, I speak kindly to them. If they’re in the way, I speak harshly to them.
God didn’t give us grace to enable us to serve our own kingdom. He gave us grace to enable us to serve his kingdom. The entire law is summarized in a single command: love your neighbor as yourself. Why is that a summary of all that God calls me to? Because it is only when I love God above all else that I’ll ever love my neighbor as myself. You don’t fix language problems horizontally. You fix them vertically.
What kind of kingdom is the kingdom of God? It’s a kingdom of boundless, glorious, powerful, personal, transforming love. The center event of that kingdom is a shocking sacrifice of redeeming love. You know nothing about his kingdom unless you understand that it is a kingdom of love. And it’s when our hearts are taken up with the mystery of that great love that our words become words of love and peace and healing.
True love is not propelled by duty. It is propelled by gratitude. We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19).
What is this thing called love that is to drive my world of talk?
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:7-12)
You don’t define love through a set of abstract concepts. You define love according to what God did. Love is willing self-sacrifice for the redemptive good of another that doesn’t demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.
But as long as sin still lives in me I get lured into the desires of my claustrophobic little kingdom of one. I try to get satisfied with the little glories that will never really satisfy me, and I need the saving grace of Christ.
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 4 by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. (2 Peter 1:3-4)
If you are God’s child the power to live according to love is already in your storehouse. This is not a future “will be.” It’s a redemptive present “is”! He has given us everything we need for life and godliness so that we have access to it today.
O that we would live out of that identity! Instead we live in the poverty of inability when we have been enabled by Christ.
What are the gifts of our redemption?
- Forgiveness of our sins by the blood of Christ
- Empowerment to do those things that he calls us to do, and
- Ultimate deliverance from every ounce of sin in our hearts.
The glorious kingdom of transforming love is ours for the taking. “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). Why would you enter once again the claustrophobic confines of your own little self-centered world?
What kingdom rules your words? Whose kingdom do you speak in service of? The claustrophobic kingdom of self or the big-sky glory-infused kingdom of God? For most of us this is mixed, and so we still need the redeeming grace of Christ.
Three ways to pray each morning:
- God I am a man in desperate need of help this morning.
- I pray that in your grace you would send your helpers my way.
- I pray you would give me the humility to receive the help that comes.
© Desiring God
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on our website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Desiring God.
March 11 ~~~~~~——~~~~~~~~
As you begin to look over the most recent information in our study. Please begin with prayer.
Dear Lord,
As we prepare to open our hearts to all that you have for us from Your Word, make us every mindful of your Sufficiency in our lives. We bow our heads in humble prayer as we consider your majesty. As Charles Wesley wrote many years ago…
And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own
Lord we thank you for Your Amazing love and humbly pray that You would guide out study and illumin our hearts with wisdom from this study.
In The name of Jesus Christ. AMEN
http://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?p=hymn+and+can+it+be
One of the prinicples we are learning is getting to the heart of the matter with Xray questions. Followed by how to “put off” that old sinful us….buried with Christ at our baptism…..and “put on” the mind of Christ…
Below are the Xray questions for Chapter One with answers and scriptures.
1 What is the source of the Scripture? Scripture is God breathed. It was written by mortal men under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. 2 Timothy 3:16a, John 1:1,Deut 8:3, Eph 6:7, John 1:14
2 Who speaks to us in the Scripture? We are spoken to in scripture by The Lord. He may use the mouth of King David, the Apostle Paul or Moses… but the words are His and thus infallible, imutable and inerrant. Gen 15:1, Matt 4:4, John 1:14
3 Can the Scripture answer all life’s questions? The short answer… YES. The long answer, God addresses each of our questions by providing all we need for life and Godliness. There is not a book or verse that will tell me what job I should accept, but the Bible will supply the Word of God with respect to our life in relation to any job we consider.For instance if I am a Christian Editor and I am offered a job on the editorial staff of Playboy Magazine. I don’t have to look far in the Bible to know this is Not a job for me. Look up 1 Corinthians 6:19, James 3:17, Eph 4:21-25, Galatians 5:19, 1 Corinthians 3:12-15.
4 When should we go to The Scripture? A better question maybe when shouldn’t we go to scripture? We go to the Scripture always…seeking God’s teaching and will for our life. Isa 40:8, Psalm 119:11, Psalm33:4, Heb 4:12, Matt 6:23
5 Why should we go to The Scripture? The Scripture is the inerrant infallible Word of God. Scripture never changes and is the ONLY true and never changing source for all our needs and wants. Psalm33:4, Isa 40:8, 1Pet 1:23,
6 Who interprets The Scripture? Scripture is interpreted by Scripture and the Holy Spirit will provide assistance as we read and study scripture. Jonn 1:14, Rev 1:2,
7 What happens in our lives when we heed and apply The Scripture? We are blessed with a rich and abundant life and a close and abiding relationship with the Trinity. Psalm1, Ezra 8:22, Matt 13:12
8. What habits should we Put off in light of what we have learned in Chapter One? We must put off all other “worldly” sources of knowledge and seek the Lord and those He has provided to us for guidance. Eph 4:25-32, Col 3:5-11
9. What habits should we Put on in light of what we have learned in Chapter One? A continual seeking of God and His will in our lives. We must know The Word that we may not sin against Him. Col 3:12-16, Eph 4:24,
***Name some physical things present in our homes that may keep us from seeking the Lord First? What should we do with them?
TV, Internet, Books, Magazines, Cell Phones….etc…etc…etc
The Holy Spirit will convict you of those things you must either put COMPLETELY out of your life…or those things that you are to use in moderation.
One last question…..no answers here this is just for your prayer and consideration…of those items listed above… ASK WHY… what do I seek in my times with these “things”….
Can you give me any scriptural basis for putting off these things? Prov 1:10, Matt 6:13, Matt 26:41, James 1:12-15
March 3 March 3 March 3 March 3 March 3
As we discussed earlier there are three principles I would like each of you to learn so well that you will apply them to everything you do and likewise you will teach them to your children and share them with others.
First is the principle of Put Off Put On….
Romans 13:12 (Romans 13)
The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.
Ephesians 4:22 (Ephesians 4)
to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices
These are not suggestions… scripture is clear, you must put off the old..dark sinful nature and put on the new creation, washed white by His blood……
Principle Number Two…. Heart Change
No where in the scripture can you find any support for “behavioral change.” by itself. On the contrary the scripture continually refers to the heart. We are not to live a “moral” life based on “laws” or “good moral standards”… we are to have the Mind of Christ and and a pure heart….
So how do we get there?
We put off and put on… but how do we know what to put off? How do we know why we do the things we do? In Romans we learn:
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. Romans 7:15-20
So how do we know what to do?
Dave Powlison, one of the Instruments of Change authors, explains: “These questions help you to draw out what gives specific direction to a person’s life. ‘Why are you angry? Why do you manipulate him? Why are you anxious in that situation? Why do you have a problem of lust at that particular time? Why do you drink to excess?’ The Bible-the penetrating and light-giving word of the Searcher of hearts-is concerned to pierce below behaviors and emotions in order to expose your motives.”
By using these questions, we will be able to come to a greater understanding of what sin lives in our heart and thus be able to fill our heart with The Word of God specifically as it deals with a particular sin issue.
So let’s refer back to our first lesson on the Sufficiency of Scripture and ask these X-ray ???
1 What is the source of the Scripture?
2 Who speaks to us in the Scripture?
3 Can the Scripture answer all life’s questions?
4 When should we go to The Scripture?
5 Why should we go to The Scripture?
6 Who interprets The Scripture?
7 What happens in our lives when we heed and apply The Scripture?
What habits should we Put off in light of what we have learned in Chapter One?
What habits should we Put on in light of what we have learned in Chapter One?
Name some physical things present in our homes that may keep us from seeking the Lord First?
What should we do with them?
Can you give me any scriptural basis for this action?
Last But Not least; Principle Three… let us all determine that we will apply the Four Steps to Christian Communication in every conversation we have.
Thank you all for participating.
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Our God all Sufficient
Our God All Sufficient
El Shaddai
2 Peter 1:3
As His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,
Matthew 11:28-30
Come unto me (Christ), all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
It becomes children to be grateful. When we come to God as a Father, we must remember that he is Lord of heaven and earth, which obliges us to come to him with reverence as to the sovereign Lord of all; yet with confidence, as one able to defend us from evil, and to supply us with all good. Our blessed Lord added a remarkable declaration, that the Father had delivered into his hands all power, authority, and judgment. We are indebted to Christ for all the revelation we have of God the Father’s will and love, ever since Adam sinned. Our Saviour has invited all that labour and are heavy-laden, to come unto him. In some senses all men are so. Worldly men burden themselves with fruitless cares for wealth and honours; the gay and the sensual labour in pursuit of pleasures; the slave of Satan and his own lusts, is the merest drudge on earth. Those who labour to establish their own righteousness also labour in vain. The convinced sinner is heavy-laden with guilt and terror; and the tempted and afflicted believer has labours and burdens. Christ invites all to come to him for rest to their souls
James 1:5
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Christianity teaches men to be joyful under troubles: such exercises are sent from God’s love; and trials in the way of duty will brighten our graces now, and our crown at last. Let us take care, in times of trial, that patience, and not passion, is set to work in us: whatever is said or done, let patience have the saying and doing of it. When the work of patience is complete, it will furnish all that is necessary for our Christian race and warfare. We should not pray so much for the removal of affliction, as for wisdom to make a right use of it. And who does not want wisdom to guide him under trials, both in regulating his own spirit, and in managing his affairs? Here is something in answer to every discouraging turn of the mind, when we go to God under a sense of our own weakness and folly. If, after all, any should say, This may be the case with some, but I fear I shall not succeed, the promise is, To any that asketh, it shall be given.
Isaiah 41:10
Do not fear for I am with you, do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
It is against the mind of God that his people should be a timorous people. For the suppressing of fear he assures them, I. That they may depend upon his presence with them as their God, and a God all-sufficient for them in the worst of times. Observe with what tenderness God speaks, and how willing he is to let the heirs of promise know the immutability of his counsel, and how desirous to make them easy: “Fear thou not, for I am with thee, not only within call, but present with thee; be not dismayed at the power of those that are against thee, for I am thy God, and engaged for thee. Art thou weak? I will strengthen thee. Art thou destitute of friends? I will help thee in the time of need. Art thou ready to sink, ready to fall? I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness, that right hand which is full of righteousness,
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
We must trust in the Lord with all our hearts, believing he is able and wise to do what is best. Those who know themselves, find their own understandings a broken reed, which, if they lean upon, will fail. Do not design any thing but what is lawful, and beg God to direct thee in every case, though it may seem quite plain. In all our ways that prove pleasant, in which we gain our point, we must acknowledge God with thankfulness. In all our ways that prove uncomfortable, and that are hedged up with thorns, we must acknowledge him with submission. It is promised, He shall direct thy paths; so that thy way shall be safe and good, and happy at last.
REVISED
REVISED
Online Lesson Schedule is as follows:
- Sufficiency of Christ February 15
- Gossip and Slander March 3
- Idolatrous Emotional Attractions March 17
- Manipulation March 31
- Hurt Feelings April 5 ***
- Vanity April 21
- PMS/Menopause… May 5
- Legalism May 19
- Feminism June 2
- Womens Roles in the Church June 16
- Trials June 30
Please submit Prayer requests for posting to:
Steps to chat online:
By registering on facebook or meebo you will be able to chat interactively for this course.
If you have a specific question please email as soon as possible and I will post all to the
DAMSELS FAQ section on the Blog
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Information on following the Damsels in Distress Bible Study Online….
To participate in the study online please register by simply emailing the following information to : cindy@word4women.com
Name
snail mail
Phone:
Church affiliation:
Books are available at the following:
http://marthapeace.com/books/books.html#books_recommended
The Bible Study will be meeting in the Charleston SC area beginning February 10 @ 7 PM
- The First Weeks information will be posted on this page on Friday February 11
- For those participating online we will be “chatting ” via facebook on beginning TUESDAY February 15 @ 7pm this is a ONE TIME Tuesday chat as I will be at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary from Thursday through Sat.
- Thursday evenings beginning March 3 will be the normal chat “time”
The Lesson Schedule is as follows:
- Sufficiency of Christ February 10
- Gossip and Slander February 24
- Idolatrous Emotional Attractions March 10
- Manipulation March 24
- Hurt Feelings April 5 ***
- Vanity April 21
- PMS/Menopause… May 5
- Legalism May 19
- Feminism June 2
- Womens Roles in the Church June 16
- Trials June 30
**** this will be a Tuesday meeting
Thanks to all for your participation may God be glorified in all we do
Tuesday February 15, 2011
We will be meeting every other week. This is to allow for time of personal reflection and conviction. On the Thursday nights we do not meet, I will be facilitating the study in my home.
Any questions you may have PLEASE email me at: cindy@word4women.com. By doing this I will be sharing FAQ’s online so all learn from the questions. ***If your question contains information of a personal nature please type Confidential in the Subject line.
We will follow the same procedures for prayer requests, email me at: cindy@word4women.com
Check in several times a week and take the time to pray for all of the sisters, whether in the local or online class.
First some wise words from that female sage….. Maxine
BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED FOR THEY ARE THE ONES WHO LET IN THE LIGHT! Maxine
Damsels in Distress, an overview
Biblical Solutions for the Problems Women Face
Our Sufficiency in Christ
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When you have problems with others…
Gossip
Slander
Manipulation
Hurt Feelings
Grief/Trials
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When the problem is within us…
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Vanity
PMS
Legalism
Anxiety
Do not fear for I am with you, do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
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When the Problem Comes from the World…
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Feminist
Influence
Womens Roles in the Church
The Purpose of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draw’s them out. Proverbs 20:5
Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually Genesis 6: 5
So I gave them over to their own stubborn heart, To walk in their own counsels. Psalm 81:12
When we approach any situation in life we MUST search our heart. Use the following questions and apply their principles to all areas of your life. When talking to your children, friends, spouse or even parents, use these X RAY questions to obtain the motivation of their heart. These questions and the picture of the tree are adapted from material by CCEF.
- What is going on? (the situation) What is occurring at a given moment in time?
- What were you thinking and feeling when it was occurring? (thoughts of the heart)
- What did you do in response? (response was shaped by thoughts and feelings)
- Why did you do it? What did you hope to accomplish? (Motives)
- What was the result? (consequences)
The Four Steps to Biblical Change
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness 2 Timothy 3:16
Doctrine
We must learn the Word of God. This is done through our reading primarily of scripture, but also spiritual commentaries, books and articles. Biblical Doctrine is a foundation of Truth.
Conviction
When a Christian has done something against the Word of God, the Holy Spirit will be faithful to convict them of their error. Remember a non Christian CANNOT be convicted in the same way as they are not indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit by being deaf to his conviction.
Correction
The scripture is faithful to tell us how to correct our error in a manner which Glorifies God’s children.
Discipleship
Stepping in next to a fellow Christian and assisting them in their walk with the Lord is a wonderful opportunity God has commanded of us. This is NOT voluntary it is mandatory.
Four Rules of Christian Communication
Ephesians 4:
25 Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” F for we are members of one another. 26 ”Be angry, and do not sin”: F do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
Always speak the truth from a heart of love
Do not speak from Unrighteous Anger
Say Nothing that does not Glorify and Edify
Principle of Put Off and Put On
To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires. Ephesians 4:22
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices. Colossians 3:9
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